About Me

Saturday, May 16, 2009

The 99

My freind Evan and I Came to an astonishing conclusion..Call it an Epiphany if you will.  I’m going to share this with you so that you may be aware of what category your in, and maintain it or convert yourself to fit in the group that “Society” has yet to let you in on.

99 percent of the world conforms to what they see and hear from the media, their parents, their selfishness, etc.  99 Percent of you conform to one religion, whatever it may be, and stick close to it for spiritual safety precautions. 


1 Percent of us decided at a youing age thast we were freaks, never belongong, being teased and tormented within ourselves because we weren’t like anyone else.  we grew up and tried to conform but conformity was not in oujr hearts.  we know ourselves, we know the futute som of us can read others and feel their pain or happiness.  We are differtent and people don’t know why they hate us, or tag us as strange “Keep away from that one”…My message is for the 99’s and the 1’s.  it is completly alright to be a one, Ones are sparse but you can still find us if you get back to searching.  a hard search.  99’s are in great abundance.  My revolution if ytou want to call it that, is to get 99’s to watch EVERYTHING around them. To smell the roses and listen to the birds singing when you go outside.  filter noise. make yourself vulnerable by becomeing a nonconformaist .  Dig deep within yourself and look at people one person at a time, feel them…free yourself fromj a life of wiushing you had done more.  There is so much more to life than what color shirt I have on.  Devel into your spiritual side. open your mind to all aspects of religion and your own beleifs.  I beleive in the Christian God, his Son Jesus Crist who died for my sins, and the holy spirit..and that there are many angels around us.  But people..my beleifs don’t end there.  I beleive in so many otgher things that churches tend to be afraid of me w2hen I shared my thought with them. they thought I was “demon Possessed”. so I stopped goingto church and made my own spirituality.  everything around us is alive, nont just the birds…not just the pouncing squirrels, but the trees..are they not alive also?  the plants your mother talks to and she swears they’ve gotten fuller since she started, they are alive.  and even the little insects have their own ways of life.  those are the thoughts of 1 percent of us.  Won’t you 99’s join us?

Thank you Evan for helping me to see through a whole new sense of enlightenment. .

Friday, May 8, 2009

Butchering The Cutter

I got drunk off my ass ended up drinking a fifth of Vodka.  Mom found me unconscious on the chair listening to my iPod.  I remember nothing.  and This means I fell off the wagon again.  I tell myself…I can do this, I can beat this addiction..this vice that I take to extremes.  I was sober for 2 years and now all I can do is crawl back up, dust myself off and keep walking my path in life..I hurt my friend Joey because we were going to do something and I was too hung over.  he accepted my apology and I am glad he did.  My friend Frank has always been there for me as well, 

and there has been so much chaos in my life lately with therapy bringing up my rape and molestation, emotional abuse etc that I went through as a kid..plus my mom is having a hard time living at Grandmas.  I have dissociated that aspect of my life and learned to live with our current situation feeling nothing most of the time.  I have no  privacy, if I'm in the bathroom listening to my iPod and can’t hear anything else, they are afraid I am in there cutting again.  which they have every right to feel that way..I don;’t exactly have a clean record as far as sobriety and cutting are concerned.  I have many scars on my arms.  I am just going to live in the moment from now on, instead of worrying about what's to come.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Drunken N Bunkin’

So my friend joe and I went to a drag bar and all the men were hitting on him and buying us shots.  I made sure he got drunk cuz he;d never gotten drunk before. he bought the screwdrivers, I bouth the slippery nipples and sex on the beach.  he was fucked up, but I was still able to walk fine and drive.  So I pulled his drunken ass out of the bar and into my car and we headed home..but on the way home I had to barf, so I pulled over in an old parking lot while he called all of his family members telling them how wasted he was lol.  So he calls his nephew and tells him he’s with a woman with big tits and is getting big tits tonight..I was barfing then he really felt it and was telling me he loved me and I leaned the seat back to give myself a rest and started spinning then barfed again on my shirt and in the lot.  he leaned his head on my breast and said “I’m trashed” lol.  It was awesome, so I took him home and leaned back in my chair in his driveway and spun some more then looked over and he was laying on the ground and I knew I couldn’t go up the steps so, I screamed “Joey get up and go inside now!”  he somehow made it lol…he says it was a blast and I have to agree.


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