About Me

Friday, July 31, 2009

The Pit By Valerie G.

You’d never had caught me

As I dropped into a pit

But now I’ve crawled out
just a tiny bit

Pain an undermining

Effect of my brain

And when I come out
It's on again 

Give me a different life and give me my voice

I’m stronger than ever

And now will rejoice

Bring me my hat

And my visors too

The sun burns my eyes

And I could burn you

Leave me burdens

Leave me alone

I've no time for you

I am making my home

My Soul By Valerie G.

Having hailed you oh Lord I soar

to see things unimaginable

like never before

And the spies I get to crush with my faith

my power emits

I evaporate

From the lengths of sadness

I felt before

to the stratosphere

I see my life

and finally open that door

Thank you Father

for what you have done

and the mileage you spent

on me

on just one

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

New friends and the OCD’ing Mom

I stayed @ a new friend of mines house for the 4th of July.  It was fun.  It feels like I’ve known her forever.  Joey is still my best friend.  I have always believed you can have as many best friends as you could trust.  I still don’t know her well enough to say best friend, but Joey I know is my best friend.  So I am just sitting and smoking and bored.  I took this new friend, her name is Billie, to get her prescriptions filled, I took her to the hospital last night and they said she has bleeding ulcers.  So I drove her to get her prescriptions filled and we picked them up today. 

I’m going to hang out with her again tonight.  Mom makes me feel guilty that I am going but I have the right to go ya know…It is just I am trying to have my independence but I still don’t have my boundaries set completely. She keeps giving me chores to do and I don’t know why she is so OCD about things li9ke cleaning and shit.  oh well, going to go help her now.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

I’m sorry

This blog is exclusively for joe. I made a mistake. I have learned that we can feel whatever we feel. even anger. I felt like you were moving on away from me by going bowling cuz we always go bowling together cosmic. I was wrong, I am usually wrong with my feelings but in my therapy we can feel whatever we feel and accept them then let them go. I’m so sorry for leading you on, but you keep kissing at me even when I’m not leading you on. I am wrong alot that is why I told you I was the “Wrong girl”. I apologize. Hopefully we can start over Joe and forget these things. I’m sorry and you are sorry lets forget it happened and look forward to see each other in a couple weeks. Your my best freind and I don't want to lose that. I fucked up forgive me.

Friday, July 3, 2009

After Diner

Joey and I got together last night and he got all pissy-assed so we decided that we needed a break from one another for a couple weeks.  It made me paranoid like I
did something wrong, which I did.  I am a confused person and may have tainted a little of our boundaries, enough that he freaking wouldn’t stop hitting on me and trying to kiss me even tho I said stop and no. 

I have been depressed, then he said he might go bowling today and it made me mad at him, even though he has every right to go.  My mom and I talked when I picked her up and she said he was a best friend to me and that I was making more of it thinking he was trying to hurt me by saying he was going bowling when I would have wanted to go also.  But I am wrong to think those things.  He hasn’t a mean bone in his body.  We have our differences, but we have more in common than anything.

We were both sheltered sick children, whose mothers have always been there for us and helped us. We are both very close with our moms.  I guess sometimes I get pissed when
I shouldn’t and I feel bad for it, but happy that he and I are still and hopefully forever friends.  I going to see him tonight when I pick up my strobe light.  Mom is excited to turn on music and the strobe light tonight after dinner but before I pick up my new friend Billie.  My mom is a freaking blast.


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