I got drunk off my ass ended up drinking a fifth of Vodka. Mom found me unconscious on the chair listening to my iPod. I remember nothing. and This means I fell off the wagon again. I tell myself…I can do this, I can beat this addiction..this vice that I take to extremes. I was sober for 2 years and now all I can do is crawl back up, dust myself off and keep walking my path in life..I hurt my friend Joey because we were going to do something and I was too hung over. he accepted my apology and I am glad he did. My friend Frank has always been there for me as well,
and there has been so much chaos in my life lately with therapy bringing up my rape and molestation, emotional abuse etc that I went through as a kid..plus my mom is having a hard time living at Grandmas. I have dissociated that aspect of my life and learned to live with our current situation feeling nothing most of the time. I have no privacy, if I'm in the bathroom listening to my iPod and can’t hear anything else, they are afraid I am in there cutting again. which they have every right to feel that way..I don;’t exactly have a clean record as far as sobriety and cutting are concerned. I have many scars on my arms. I am just going to live in the moment from now on, instead of worrying about what's to come.